No way back
by espiyo
Summary: The day after 9.8, v2. No imagination, me!


**A brief digression while I make my mind up about the fluff quotient in the remaining chapter(s) of the biggie! This is probably to be a one-shot, but I'll wait and see what, if any, inspiration strikes. Thanks for reading, and usual disclaimers apply.  
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Still no answer. She should've rung ahead. She rubbed her forehead in exasperation. Could she not do _any_thing right?

She turned and went back down the steps to her car, hugging her coat to her against the chill wind. The gate clanged shut behind her, scattering beads of overnight rain. Tossing her bag onto the passenger seat she slumped behind the wheel. Now what?

She had no idea how long she'd sat there, the awful events of the previous day looping through her mind, but she was startled back into the present by a knock on the window. And it was him, the familiar face she loved so much, his pleasure in seeing her tempered by his concern that she was sitting in her unheated car, outside his house, with tears running down her face.

She got out of the car then, and he didn't say anything, just pulled her to him for a moment, then guided her inside. He took her coat, noticing that she was shivering, or shaking, he wasn't sure which.

'Come into the living room,' he said quietly, 'I'll put the fire on.'

As she gazed into the flames, feeling warmth and life creep back into her limbs, he busied himself making tea and cutting slabs of chocolate cake. Shoving a box of tissues under his arm, he carried the tray back through. For a split second before she heard him coming and looked up, he caught a glimpse of her face, the desolation and despair punching the breath out of his lungs. Still he said nothing.

She sat, hands cupped round her mug, wondering where to start. 'I'm really sorry about this,' she said finally. 'You must be wondering what the hell's going on.'

'Are you alright?'

She gave a watery smile. 'Not really.'

'Well, if you'd like to talk about it, please do. If you'd rather not, that's fine too.'

'I...yesterday...oh god.'

He leaned across and squeezed her hand. 'Deep breath.'

She obliged, only for it to turn into a sob.

'Tell me,' he said gently.

After a moment: 'Okay, well, the abbreviated version goes something like this.'

* * *

He was clicking his pen nib in, out, in, out.

'Dimitri, don't you have anything less irritating to do?' snapped Beth.

'Well, yeah, I was supposed to meet one of my assets, but I was thinking Harry would be in first thing for a debrief.'

'He's probably getting hauled over the coals by Towers.'

'Mm. And where's Evershed? She's usually in when the birds are still in REM sleep.'

'She phoned in; said she's going to take today off. '

'Not like her. I thought she was made of sterner stuff.'

'Dimitri! She got kidnapped by someone she'd regarded as a friend. He roughed her up, pumped her full of drugs, and would have killed her. She had to watch Harry walk off to what seemed an inevitable death having just given away a state secret to save her, only to find out that Lucas had spared him and jumped off a bloody tower block!'

'I guess when you put it like that...'

Beth gave a snort of exasperation, but Dimitri was spared a scathing response by her ringing phone.

'Beth Bailey.'

'Ms Bailey, it's the Home Secretary's office. We're trying to find Sir Harry; he was due here for a meeting 40 minutes ago, and the Home Secretary has insisted that he must see him.'

* * *

Ruth stood at the window, staring unseeing across the tidy lawn and the regimented flowerbeds, her arms wrapped around her slim frame as if physically holding herself together. 'And it was the look in his eyes as he left. "It's my turn," he said, and I just let him go. I even told the others not to go with him! I just let him go, knowing that that would probably be the last time I'd ever see him, and I didn't try to stop him, I didn't tell him how much I love him, I just let him go!'

Malcolm went over to her and clasped her arms in his hands. 'You did what you had to do. Shh,' he said, in response to her vehemently shaking her head, on the verge of tears again, 'you did. And he knows that. But you need to talk to him.'

'Hah! He won't give me the time of day after this. He loves me, Malcolm, and I just pushed him away and pushed him away, and hurt him so much. I told him it was unfair of him to love me, and I sent him to his death.' She gave a strangled sob. 'There's no way back from that, is there?'

'There's always a way back,' came a voice from the doorway.

She spun round. Harry stood there, barefoot, hair mussed from sleep, in jeans and an old blue t-shirt.

Ruth gawped, undecided whether to be outraged, embarrassed, or so relieved to see him that it overrode everything else. 'What the hell are you doing here?'

'I had rather too much to drink last night, and apparently at some point I phoned Malcolm. Next thing I know, he turns up on my doorstep, packs a bag, bundles me into his car and brings me here. This is me just up.'

'How much did you hear?'

'Enough.'

There was a long silence. She twisted her ring round and round on her finger, unable to raise her eyes to meet his. Harry moved into the room to let Malcolm past, giving Malcolm a weary smile as the younger man squeezed his shoulder and mouthed 'Go on.'

He could almost physically see her screwing up all her courage.

'I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. For yesterday, for….. ' she swallowed. 'If you want me to leave…if you feel that we can't work together anymore, that's fine.'

'I have to admit I don't really want to work with Ruth Evershed.'

Her breath caught in her throat. 'That's fine.' She reached for her bag. 'I…I'll go.'

'But I would rather like to work with Ruth Pearce.'

Her head shot up. 'What?' She stared at him for what seemed to him like an eternity. 'Even after yesterday?' she whispered.

'Especially after yesterday. Ruth, I know that I'm limited, cowardly, simple….what else…'

'Pompous. Impossible. Unfair…'

'Yeah, yeah. And verging on the geriatric. And probably unemployed. But I love you. Totally and absolutely and…mmmm.'

His words were lost as she ran over to him, and cupping his face in her hands as she had done once, many years ago, kissed him. This time, however, it wasn't the gentle, tender kiss of sorrow and farewell.

* * *

She was pushing against his chest. Reluctantly he released her. 'Sorry, too full on?'

Dazed, a rosy glow suffusing her pale cheeks, she shook her head. 'No, no, it just dawned on me that your idea of a proposal more romantic than one at a funeral is "Marry me or you're fired!" '

He grinned. 'That pretty much sums it up. But there is another string attached I should probably tell you about.'

'Oh yes?'

'In the interim you have to sleep with the boss. Starting pretty much immediately.'

'Mm, so I see.' Ruth was conscious that she was blushing. Her eyes widened. 'Oh my god, where's Malcolm?'

Harry put his hands on her hips and pulled her towards him. 'He went out round about the time you stuck your tongue down my throat.'

'Thank god. Hey, what are you doing keeping track of other people's comings and goings when you should be paying attention to me?'

He gave a devilish grin. 'I promise that right now the only comings I am focused on are yours, Ms Evershed,' - he was kissing her - 'and you will henceforth... have my full…and undivided attention… til death do us part.'


End file.
